I like to think it a success when the cops are called
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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