Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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