im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
