sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this boner is exhausting
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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