I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
