I think I won the penis lottery.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
