I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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