I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
A+ Viking dick
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