How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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