Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
