I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
