pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
