U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
don't judge my taste in strippers
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
