I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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