If that was your dad, he is hot
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
