he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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