I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize