She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize