your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
