Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
