This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
