He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
