Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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