My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
