everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize