dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
