Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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