the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
