Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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