How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
