Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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