i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
