Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
