They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
