Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
