well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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