im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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