Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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