We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
