I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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