I cockslap morals
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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