and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
