U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize