I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
sex in a hospital.. check
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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