so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
