You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize