I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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