Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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