We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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