Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize