Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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