Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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