Small penises have feelings too.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
