honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
