I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
