Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
