That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
