Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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