HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
