Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
