Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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