And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
