Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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