I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
