There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
