You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
