just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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