I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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