Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
