This show inspires me to have sex in space
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
