I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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