Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize