I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
