I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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